Monday, May 21, 2007

Will everyone forgive me when I don't care anymore?

I used to think my affliction was apathy. Perhaps AD(H)D mixed with anger, or waves of all three? As I grew older and the layers melted away, I was left with the basics. The fundamental truths I knew years earlier, yet hadn't experienced for myself.

Suddenly, I woke up and realized a change. By that time, I had been loved, hated, in love, rich, poor, taken-in and neglected. From my perspective as a young young man growing up, it left a gigantic void. This void was not apathy however. From my perspective in life, there was nothing left to do but live it! It took a few years to get my bearings, which I think is common. Now, as I look around, I know I have made some mistakes, but I know I have avoided many that my peers are yet to address. I know that life is about to change again, but only because I am where I feel I should be. Living in southern California has drawn me into rubbing shoulders with a materialistic lifestyle which I have not chosen. Regardless, the experience has taught me not to be negative in spite of our differences. I realize now, I have had the expensive things I thought I wanted in life. I am simply most alive in nature; in the woods, on a mountain or in the ocean.

So, if I never impress any of you again, I'm OK with that. I just hope you are too, and can join me some of the time.


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